Beginning of a journey: EQ

One of the biggest tragedies of my life was having siblings, 1; and 2, having an excellent bonding with them. The two siblings that I have, fulfilled almost every emotional need I encountered in my life; especially that of a friend. In fact like a true friend I found them holding a gun in my every fight; and like a family holding a magnifier to all my faults. And I earnestly believe that finding closest friends in your siblings can be quite unfortunate; primarily because you end up with those people as friends with whom you happen to share not just your strengths and weaknesses; successes and failures; but also childhood, clothes, parents and even genes. If that does not make life complicated what does!!! So it wasn’t strange that none of us siblings made “many” friends outside the family circle. But we did make a few. And this is where it gets weird. We pulled the best friends we had in the family circle… or as I choose to call it now, the scare sphere. We married our respective best friends. So now we actually don’t know what skeletons may tumble down the closet, which annoying potty training incident may become a topic of detail discussion at family gatherings.

So it came as a revelation to me, a moment of reevaluation for all my life choices; when my baby brother (he actually turned 32 last year); remarked that I have a low EQ. And; the next one remarking that “sis has improved on it now”. And all this as a prequel to a family gathering; on a conference call planning it. So this is why I call the “sibling bonding” as unfortunate. Because now I find myself looking for the term EQ; and reading this heavy (both literally and figuratively) book on EQ.

and so I begin, a journey to understand and "improve" EQ:

THE QUEER BENEFITS OF IGNORANCE

Just a thought

Being clueless absolves one of responsibilities of all kinds, just as being insane protects one from being condemned for socially unacceptable behavior and courtesies (or the lack of it). What you have no knowledge of, you cannot be held accountable for. Knowledge, on the other hand, traps you. Well, of course it gives you power. Power to choose, power to make informed decisions and power to make a change. But then you are also liable to choices you make, you cannot shrug responsibility for the decisions you take (remember, they happen to be informed), and you are accountable for all changes that your actions cause; since these changes are not inadvertent. Unlike a clueless individual you are answerable to ALL. So now, you are not free to make mistakes. In fact you are constantly under pressure to perform, to maintain standards and to never err; and if you do, stay prepared to be penalized. In short, you are trapped in a prison of rules, stigmas, standards; all under the preconceived notion that you are aware of them, comprehend them, and are competent to live up to them. Where then is the power! The true power in effect lies with the ignorant, just as theirs is eternal bliss. Whether they will inherit the Earth; quite likely. After all with knowledge comes power and with power, responsibility (remember). AND close on the heels follows stress and related inflictions. Disparaging, but the thought just came.

REBOOT

A dream is yet to be born,

I dare which eludes accomplishment.

A dream I cannot carry

to fulfillment, to achievement.

A dream that would make too heavy,

a heart lightened by bereavements.

Because I've lived a life...........

lived by default.

Death did come,

but could never halt

The life that was;

springing forth and bubbling charm.

THE HUMAN MIND

Sometimes callous,
sometimes tender;
sometimes stoic,
and sometimes perturbed.


Sometimes kindling,
sometimes nemesis;
sometimes pellucid,
sometimes turbid.


Sometimes its beauty
casts a spell;
sometimes its ugliness,
shames and repels.


Enchanting, repulsive;
spiritual, seductive;
selfish, yet selfless;
soothing, but corrosive.


Emotions ephemeral,
perceptions plethoric.
Sometimes sanguine,
sometimes derelict.


Sometimes astute,
sometimes blind;
the abysses and the shallowness,
of the HUMAN MIND